From the moment we awoke this morning we knew this was going to be the sunniest day so far. I pushed my head up behind the curtain and was greeted by an unbroken dome of blue which funnily enough made me think of Manchester City. Mary was quick off the mark preparing breakfast….. for herself! Do I exist? Am I not here? If you cut me do I not cry for my Mum?
She was busy eating another substance which has won a place in the “best foods we have ever eaten” category. Made by “Master Crumble” this cereal which goes by the rather taxing name of “Schoko-Knusper-Müsli” is actually a muesli with loads of nuts and little pebbles of dark chocolate. Yum!! I am not sure exactly how healthy it is but I have to say it tastes absolutely delicious (in a foreign kind of way!).
Anyway I eventually got my cup of tea and bowl of Schoko-whatever and the world seemed at peace. Then the bladder kicked in. How annoying is it to be allowed to stay in bed for as long as you want but forced to get up in mid-cereal just because Mr. Urine won’t wait any longer to get out into the fresh air! Fortunately the caravan has the necessary facility to avoid a somewhat jerky semi-trot 200 metres down the path to the toilets. Soon I was back in bed and shovelling great spoonfuls of Sch (you know!) down my throat. So beginnt der Tag.
First decision was whether to visit castles or not. Lazy buggers 1 Castles 0. Next was whether to get washed or not. Upbringing 1 Debauchery 0. So sunbathing won the day hands down (or hands up if you want an even tan). After a lunch of Mackerel in white wine we decided to do some washing. 5 tokens later the old Miele machine was churning my trainer socks round and round and round. But where were my underpants? Surely there ought to be dozens of them? After all this is officially day 18. Well there was 1 pair spinning before our eyes. Why? Because I have cast off the chains of oppression that have closeted my tender parts for almost 60 years! My dear friends I no longer wear them!! Please join me if you will in a day’s spontaneous freedom. Tomorrow leave them in the drawer, man and woman alike! Let me know if you are brave enough.
In mid-afternoon we took a walk up the road a bit to find the bus-stop we will use to go to Boppard for the train on Monday morning. Then it will be off to Berlin via Frankfurt am Main, Kassel, Bratkartoffelnbadezimmereinundzwanzigdorf or something and Magdeburg.
On our way back to the caravan we noticed one or two folk in the pool so that was our next stop. Still the same nipple-freezing agony getting in but once up to the shoulders it was indeed bliss. At one point I turned round to see Mary swim towards me still wearing her big sunglasses and with her hair thankfully for once not straightened. She was stunning. I imagined her gracing the pages of “Hello!” looking like that. Very Grace Kelly! Typically Mary fobbed me off, refused to accept the compliment and went back to “War and Peace” which she was flicking through while swimming.
Tea was a makey-up mince and tatties and then we got on with downloading our Berlin tickets and printing our itinerary. For a day doing nothing we felt we’d done a lot. I watched England whip Moldova 5-0 on ITV then I wrote this. Hope you like it!

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